Dear Officer...

I'd really appreciate an explanation for why you decided it was necessary to follow me when I was driving home from grocery shopping the other night. The last I knew, it wasn't a crime to leave your home in the evening and purchase a few things.  I parked legally, entered the store, bought sponge cakes to go with my dessert, got in my car, started it up, exited the parking lot (after coming to a complete stop, using my turn signal, and waiting for oncoming traffic) and for this I was rewarded by you making a right turn and following me for 8 blocks. Did I know you were following me?  Not at first, but the fact that you turned in to my apartment complex behind me, and stopped just short of where I parked my car was a pretty good clue! That and the fact that you sat there and waited until my wife and I exited my vehicle and were heading up the stairs until you moved.  Was it the fact that I was actually driving the speed limit that made me look so suspicious?  That I used my turn signal? That my car is green? That I have a beautiful wife and you wanted a closer look?  Seriously dude, back off! I'm sure if there aren't any other law abiding citizens you can harass, at least there might be a few stale doughnuts left over at Shipley's...